The path toward the best-self: practical view

PATH-FINAL

Many times in my book and posts I mention “the path toward the best-self” which may sound like a vague concept. So I have summarized hereafter its practical meaning, explaining the core actual attitudes which make the difference in everyone’s life, because they lead to opposite outcomes.

The inner attitude and thoughts which lead to a static painful life

  1. I would like to behave in line with my values and objectives.
  2. I try to do it and I fail on something.
  3. I feel bad! I am useless! I am an idiot! (or, alternatively: Others are useless and idiots!)
  4. Well, I have punished myself now! (or, alternatively: Well, now I have punished them!).
  5. I have paid the bill through my self-punishment! (or, alternatively: they have paid the bills as I have punished them!) So I can continue doing as before, repeating the same behaviors and failing again!
  6. Continuous loop restarting from point 1

Note: overall emotional result = I feel bad.

The inner attitude and thoughts which are “the path toward the best-self”

  1. I would like to behave in line with my values and objectives.
  2. I try to do it and I fail on something.
  3. Where have I failed this time? Let me think, next time I will try this alternative or improved behavior.
  4. The same challenging situation occurs: I try to behave and to think differently as planned.
  5. I feel good! I have been great: this time I have tried to improve with real actions (first positive result!)
  6. I feel good! Let’s see what I have done well this time (second positive result!)
  7. Let’s see what I have done wrong even if I feel bad on this.
  8. Continuous loop from point 3.

Note: overall emotional result = “I feel good” +” I feel good” + “I feel bad” = ”I feel ok/good”

These two opposite attitudes open several core questions:

  • What are my values? Which values belong to my deepest self? What is really important for me?
  • To what extent do I have a proactive approach to life (taking action and risks, doing things differently)?
  • Do I always analyse what I have done wrong to find a practical way forward?
  • How much am I aware of how I react to my emotions, like:
    • The anger which may lead me to self-blaming or blaming-others
    • The overwhelming pain due to lack of acceptance which may block me
  • Have I ever trained my mind to think/act differently and more positively?

I have written the life-transforming book Centered Life Model to give a comprehensive answer to the questions above and to open, to everyone, the path toward the best-self.

Each day can be the start of a new life, if you are the one who wants it.

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Help me to improve this Centered Life Model brick with your comments. Thank you.

About

Backbone of the Centered Life Model

Centered Life Model: the life-transforming book

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Copyright © 2014 – Dimitri Gianesini – All Rights reserved

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