Who you are determines what you have; however, what you have does not imply who you are (even if it may change the manner you are perceived by others). This can be explained with few simple examples.
- Owning a very expensive car. Having an expensive car does not mean being an effective or talented person: maybe this person comes from a rich family, is a car dealer or won the car at the lottery.
- Having children. A person can have children, but how much time this person spends for their well-being and growth? Having children does not imply being a mother or a father, if this person does not look after them.
- Having a stunning body and a beautiful face. A person, instead of being happy of having this beautiful body, may become arrogant, as people are always attracted by him/her; or he/she may become obsessed by beauty because of the pressure due to the constant attention of others.
- Having an important job title. It does not matter your job position, what matters is your performance in that role.
With these examples, I try to explain why, for the Centered Life Model, “having” is meaningless: because “owning something” says almost nothing about your deepest self. Looking at the world from this perspective, it is incredible how many people feel the need of owning objects which are not directly linked to their well-being (As I explain in my book, this is due to the human evolutionary need of “status”).
As you can see in the examples, what makes the difference to identify “who you are” is not what you have, but what you do.
One of the main principles of the Centered Life Model is that “doing equals being”. This is one of the reasons why the life-transforming book Brilliant well-being can be a giant challenge and a revolution for many people: because it demonstrates how any single actions of your life and the focus you put on them (and nothing more) make who you are. Moreover, it demonstrates that the most effective manner to achieve sense of purpose and well being in life is to align these actions to the values belonging to your deepest self (and it shows how, the opposite, drives people to live a painful inner life).
This blog and my book explain a lot of philosophical principles and practical solutions, and many people are fascinated by them. However, there is one basic rule: if you agree with these concepts, if you fully understand them intellectually, nothing changes if you do not apply them. With or without the Centered Life Model, your being will never positively evolve if you do not proactively change and develop your daily approach to life, improving your actions and, through them, moving toward your best-self.
Many thanks in advance for your comments!
Copyright © – Dimitri Gianesini – All rights reserved
Images under the “Fair Use” policy