Life sometimes puts us in situations that challenge us to the extreme.
This can be due to health problems that inflict terrible pain, or to basic needs that cannot be fulfilled, or to people who exploit our lives, or due to many other reasons, unfortunately.
In these circumstances, this suffering cannot be explained completely, only who feels it, knows it. We may feel isolated, because trapped in situations that cause only pain, with no one helping us. We may feel despair, because the people who love us are not able to help us. We may feel abandoned, because not able to find a way forward on our own. We may feel hatred for the people who put us in this bad situation, if someone is the cause of our pain. This is the bad part of life.
What to do when overwhelmed by this suffering and frustration? There is no easy answer, but the core action is to define a set of objectives and keep the focus on them as much as possible. These objectives become the way out on the horizon.
If you are in the middle of the storm of pain, try to keep your eyes open and move toward that way out. As soon as you have a moment of peace for you, try to relax and make this objectives clear to you as much as you can (ask the opinion of people you trust, look outside to find potential solutions, look at your inner-self to understand what are the most important things you need at that stage). So, as soon as the storm comes back, you can focus on your objectives again, and you can do it also when the pain is so overwhelming that you are not able to open your eyes. And even if you get completely lost, you can refocus on your objectives as soon as you feel that a little bit of energy has come back to you.
We need to be realistic; these painful situations can be so extreme that the resources to survive can be found only within the inner self, because it may happen that no helps comes from the outside. But a strategy is needed as well: it is important to know where to focus our energy to be successful and then to take action. These objectives become the foundation of our hope, and can be made stronger and stronger, because they belong to the inner-self only, so no-one and nothing can cancel them; any help that we may receive from the outside is then welcome.
In the book “Brilliant well-being”, the problem of suffering is discussed with examples from real life of people; one of the core principles is that our mind operates between the source of pain and our conscious awareness of this pain; therefore, if we learn how our mind works and we train it using the right methods, all of us can find huge opportunities to improve the situation in any painful contexts (For more information, see work done at the University of Oxford).
This is the approach of the Centered Life Model: in any circumstances, set up your objectives, validate their consistency with your core-self, assess how they affect your relationship with others, then focus on them and move forward! This is hope; this is the strategy to be successful.
As soon as you are out of the storm, check your objectives again, in order to tailor them to the new circumstances, always toward your best-self.
Many thanks in advance for your comments!
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