Important note: this post refers explicitly to activities related to sex and reproduction. The only reason why this topic is treated is because it has a significant influence in the human behavior. The Centered Life Model has respect as one of the foundation values; therefore, in case you may feel offended by this kind of topics, I would recommend continuing enjoying the blog choosing one of the many others posts available.
In the life transforming-book Brilliant well-being I demonstrate that evolution has shaped our mind to search for status and reproduction. Almost fifty pages are dedicated to this topic, with reference to the scientific material on the matter and examples from everyday life of people.
If you want to have a simple example of this phenomenon, try simply to imagine if you suddenly felt the need to put your whole hand inside the mouth of someone else. Or if you knew someone (other than your dentist) who, often during the day, thinks that it would be a good idea to put his/her whole hand inside your mouth.
This idea looks really weird! Anyway, evolution has shaped our mind to find, in certain circumstances, interesting and attractive the idea of putting a piece of our body inside another body, or to accept a piece of someone else’s body into ours…
So it happens that the crazy idea of someone else’s whole hand in the mouth may sound reasonable and become even exciting as soon as people think about “other parts of the body involved”. And if you still have doubts, nature has organized everything to give people the gift of feeling intense pleasure if they decide to go for that.
This example shows how things may look very strange as soon as we look at them from a completely detached perspective.
All this to say that, as soon as our mind relates to contexts that are linked to our evolutionary history and biology, our thoughts and actions can be significantly affected. In other words, human beings think to have control of their lives but, as soon as they are in those contexts, it is the whole manner they perceive reality that is affected, therefore to operate sensibly can become a challenge. The problem especially arises when we are not aware of this mechanisms and we live in social contexts that exploit these automatic behaviors shaped by nature.
Status and reproduction lead us to the search for power and pleasure that are also translated by our mind in many different symbolic forms (like the pleasure of owning things, the pleasure of dominating, the pleasure of being famous, etc.)
The Centered Life Model does not tell you what to do; it aims to give you the tools to take ownership of your choices in the situations where nature has shaped the mind to operate automatically, with instincts that lead us to perceive reality as our ancestors used to do hundreds of thousands years ago, but within a much higher complexity! This because, these instincts, when operating in the modern social organisations, have led humans to set up systems that amplify and exploit the same instincts to the extreme. Two basic examples of this situation are the need of buying more and more things to achieve status, or the need of pornography to feel pleasure. Many people miss one of the biggest problem about it, that is when the owners of the related services take advantage of our “automatic behaviors” to become able to decide about our lives.
The tools to start managing the power of our instincts are relaxation exercises and meditation, these tools are the starting point of the path of personal independence, because you can be happy when you decide to, only if you take full control of your life.
Many thanks in advance for your comments!
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