Focus on your values. Confirm reality versus change reality.


Millions of people will have a great day today! But millions will have a tough day. This always happens. Many will be challenged by life, no escape.

Reality sometimes makes us feel that our values are just dreams, but we always have a choice: to confirm this reality or to change this reality in our future.

Let’s imagine that someone has been really bad with you today and made you suffer. You may decide that this reality is “your reality” therefore confirming it; the consequence of this choice is that you will feel that, to treat other people badly and to make them suffer, is definitively right; so you will repeat this behavior at any opportunities. Or you may decide to change this reality in the future, because your values do not match with that situation; therefore, you will treat people well in any circumstances (this does not mean you give up to your rights, it means that you will react in a balanced manner in any situations when interacting with people, always sticking to your values).

A very simple example. But this basic principle is applicable whenever in life you can influence your future!

To change your reality and to make it compliant with your values means to enhance your sense of purpose. On the other hand, to confirm a reality not in line with your core-self, means to lose your freedom and live with frustration.

We need to be realistic. Sometimes it is not possible for us to change things in the short term; but there is a fundamental principle to remember. Reality can be hard, someone may currently hold the power on your outer reality, but no-one will be able to change your inner reality and your values. They both belong only to you (this is the reason why meditation is so important, to preserve and nurture your inner-self, whatever happens). As soon as you have the opportunity, you will make your outer reality the way you would like it to be (i.e. in line with your inner reality and your values).

Well, this concept may look obvious, but it makes the difference in your approach to life and in your performance. So you may read the list of values and emotions in these tables (click here) and check which values you are making real.

These concepts are widely explained in the life-transforming book “Brilliant well-being”. Making your reality (inner and outer) compliant with your values gives a meaning to your life and boosts your energy and performance, toward success and happiness.


Many thanks in advance for your comments!



Steps to becoming confident, successful and happy

Brilliant well-being: the life-transforming book


Copyright © – Dimitri Gianesini – All rights reserved

Images under the “Fair Use” policy

2 thoughts on “Focus on your values. Confirm reality versus change reality.

  1. I really need that! Thank you! I have been wrestling since yesterday with the outer situations/frustrations. This gave me hope and directions. Keep it lined up Tina with the inner and eventually it will come together as long as i get the process! = )

  2. Bernie Ritchie says:

    Great article Dimitri! As you say, the critical thing in times of high change and stress is to remember to stay true to your inner reality and values and stay centred. Once centred, it is then much easier to take an objective and measured view of the change situation you are currently facing … And see its transience for what is is, and handle it accordingly.

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